and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
