hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
