I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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