Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
