Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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