am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
