nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
