guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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