Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
