A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
