I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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