She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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