Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
