The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?