she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.