I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....