things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.