have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
