Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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