i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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