i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
