Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
