i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
