we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
