its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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