Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
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We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize