best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
