Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
