You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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