kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
