idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
