Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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