i think my mom watched the whole time
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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