GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
