He disabled his match.com account in front of me
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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