You made me cry and you don't even care
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
