Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hate all girls vehemently.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
