Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
