i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
