she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
