Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just want nice things and good sex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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