A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize