I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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