i think my tv is drunk
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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