I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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