Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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