it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
