I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There are leaves in my underwear?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
