i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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