she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
