i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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