Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
