everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
