Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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