john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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