There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
