pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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