how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
