I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
